In which I diversify my online dating experience

The saga of online dating continues . . . although I decided to throw a monkey wrench in it this week. After a good conversation with a friend, I decided that eHarmony just hasn't been eventful enough for me yet. I need to diversify. If I'm going to try this experience for a year, why not kick it up a notch? So I joined Adventist Singles Connection.

Wow.

Just . . . wow.

I am a card-carrying member of the Adventist church. I went to an Adventist grade school, academy, and college. I know how to bake cottage cheese loaf. I even worked for the Oregon Conference for 4 years and worked at Camp Meeting. My only true failing as an Adventist  was never joining Pathfinders and disliking summer camp (I know, I know, please don't revoke my membership). I am part of the tribe.

But let's be real . . . our Adventist family is . . . diverse. Two people can call themselves Adventists and be on absolute opposite ends of the spectrum in almost every way. A lot of the men on this website gave off the distinct impression of being waaaaaaaay on the opposite end of Adventism than I am. But they are very, very eager to meet an Adventist girl. Any Adventist girl.

So, things did not go slowly on adventistsinglesconnection.com. Lord have mercy, the wolves descended. And the wolves were mostly 40-50 year old men who sent me jaunty-sounding pick up lines. Such confidence for guys who are 10-20 years older than me. Is this a thing now? I suppose, if I met someone really special and amazing who was 10 years older than me, I might ponder it. Carefully.

But my favorite so far was from a young man by the username of Jesuslvrboy. Red flag right there. He sent me a little card graphic that had a verse about a woman's hair being her crowning glory. Okaaaaay . . . slightly red flag as well. Then he sent me a little note that said "Hello, beautiful princess of God!!"

Okay, Jesuslvrboy, first off, I don't know how Jesus would feel about your casual exploitation of his name in your romantic life, but that's neither here nor there. However, I may have liked the idea of being a princess when I was 5, but I am now a grown woman, sometimes much to my chagrin. There's no need to talk down to me, just be cool man, be cool!

But hey, at least I'm hearing from people! And again, there are a few normal guys I'm hearing from, but those are the ones I don't want to throw under the proverbial bus.

Sorry Jesuslvrboy, but you are fair game.