When I started writing this a week ago, I thought it would be easy. Silly me. But I did especially love writing this character sketch, because my Aunt is a mess of contradictions. She is one thing and then almost entirely another.
But first a bit of history; Debra Jean Demaline. Deb Maxted. Aunt Deb. She is the leader of the great trifecta, the she-clan, the sisterhood of the Demaline girls. She is the oldest sister, my mom the middle child, and my Aunt Donna the baby. The three of them have a sisterly bond that I have always been a bit envious of. They are best friends, partners-in-crime, and can finish each others sentences. It's a little eerie.
Growing up, I secretly categorized my Aunt Deb as the "stern" aunt. This causes me great amusement as I look back, because I think it's more of a reflection of who I was. I was a bit selfish growing up and a bit spoiled. Aunt Deb has no patience for selfish or spoiled kids. She was a physical education teacher throughout most of her career and I think she is able to see the character of young people pretty clearly. In fact, I would say that she makes pretty fast assessments of people in general and they are often accurate. Anyway, she was the stern aunt, because she'd call me out when I was whining, remind me to pitch in when I was slacking or trying to escape work, and calmly knocked me down a peg when I acted like the world revolved around me. My selfish, spoiled self was rather affronted:)
But then I grew up. Life happened, sometimes quite painfully, and I learned that, in fact, the world did not revolve around me. I learned that there were people around me struggling. I began to consider others feelings and somewhere in the midst of that, I discovered something. My aunt is very, very good at the hard stuff.
She is deeply compassionate, caring, wise, and practical. She gives it to you straight. She is an amazing listener and can cut right to the heart of the matter. So somewhere in the midst of the turmoil of my life, she stopped being the stern aunt and became the wise and realistic aunt.
My Aunt Deb and Uncle Stan were married before I was born, so for me, they have always been a dynamic duo. They are another amusing example of an introvert and an extrovert making it work. My uncle is a chatty, friendly extrovert who strikes up conversations with anyone and everyone. My aunt . . . well. I tease her that she doesn't really like people. She is very fond of individuals, but people as a whole? Not her favorite:) Being someone she is fond of is an honor, because she's choosy. They don't have children and I will make a confession here and now: A part of me is glad to not have to share them with kids of their own, outside of their other nieces and nephews. My aunt has stood in more times than I can count as a bonus parent. So has my uncle . . . but I'll save that for his character sketch down the road.
One thing we have shared from early on was a love of reading. She is almost as book obsessed as I am, and between you and me, that's saying something. Not only that, but she enjoys reading a lot of the same unusual books as I do. There are lots of books that I love that I would never recommend to casual readers. Books that are hard to categorize or that some people would find straight up odd. Those are the books I share with my aunt, and then we chat about them. She really takes in the stories, which is something that I love about her. It's not just about the entertainment for her, it's also about the journey and what they teach her. She is a big Tolkien fan, and not just the epic scope, but the poetry and the songs (you know, the bits that other people skip?). The artistry of writing appeals to her. I loved sitting next to her and watching the Lord of the Rings movies and some of the Harry Potter series. Generally I hate talking during movies, but we'd keep leaning over in excitement or fury over changes.
My aunt loves art. It is something we definitely do not have in common, because I don't have an artistic eye at all. But I love watching her look at art. She connects to it, interprets it, and lets it speak to her. It's kind of fascinating to watch.
I have been told that my aunt was the rebellious one when she was a teenager, sneaking out to go to concerts and listening to forbidden music in her car with the windows down. But the music we both liked listening to was generally just folksy acoustic and Third Day. And I mean, granted, Third Day is rock but it's Christian rock. Not really the same. It wasn't until I took her to a Third Day concert and watched her jump up with her hands in the air on a particularly raucous song that I realized this was another piece of her, hidden away mostly. There is a little bit of a rock chick in my aunt, forever slightly contained by a life employed in the SDA church.
I'm convinced that, had life taken her in another direction, my aunt would be a hippy, living out in the woods and making her own soap and clothes, never using money and eschewing gadgets of all kind. Instead, life brought her to where she is today, and the glimpses only come across in her stubborn refusal to pay a penny more than she has to for things and being the only iPhone user I know that rarely checks her phone.
One of my favorite things about my aunt is her ability to show me another perspective. I can be stubborn, although not vocally. I hear things I don't agree with all the time, and no amount of lecturing, logic, or yelling will convince me away from my perspective. I also tend to have grand ideas that take over my thoughts and consume my interests. When I have discussions with my aunt, she has a unique gift of saying just the right thing to suddenly help shift my perspective. It's incredibly subtle and hard to describe, but sometimes she just says a few words and I can suddenly see the big picture. It makes her a pretty wonderful sounding board.
My aunt has the best laugh. I think most people who meet her probably think she is a bit standoffish and quiet at first. But she is the warmest person. She laughs with her whole face, eyes crinkling and smile huge. Just hearing her laugh makes me happy.
She decided to make a career change a few years ago and is now a physical therapy assistant. She tells me stories about her interactions with patients and I can only think how blessed they are. My aunt sees the person within, encourages at the right time, coaches when you need it, tells you to stop being lazy when it's true, and looks outside the box for solutions. Her patients to have her on their side for their health battles.
Until just a few years ago, I didn't realize just what a blessing it was to be an aunt. Then my nieces came along, then an honorary nephew, then another niece and a nephew, and still more honorary nephews . . . and even more to come! It is only in having the experience of being an auntie that I realize just how special mine are. Aunt Deb, I love you and I'm very, very grateful that you are you who you are and that you're my aunt. I'm the luckiest.
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