The fine and delicate art of whining (and why you shouldn't overabuse the privilege).

Everyone whines.


I feel very safe making that blanket statement.


Whining is like comfort food; it's enjoyable to indulge in upon occasion. It's like choosing to curl up on the couch with a bowl of macaronni and cheese and watch So You Think You Can Dance, instead of going to the gym (watching people exercise doesn't count???). It's cozy, cathartic, and builds camaraderie between fellow whiners. It's fun for the whole family!


Except for when it makes someone else want to grab that bowl of mac and cheese and dump it on top of your head to make you "please for the love of all that's holy STOP WHINING!!!".


Whining is a fine and delicate art . . . a balancing act. When you whine internally, you're slowly but truly convincing yourself that life is unfair and out to get you. This generally results in deep dissatisfaction and leads to . . . you guessed it, more whining! All the fun of a revolving door with no way out! The best part of internal whining is that it only makes you feel bad (well, and all the people who spend their time in your general vicinity, but whatever, it's all about you anyway!).


The tricky part is communal whining; when two or more individuals get together and enjoy the addictive pleasure of bemoaning all the unfair and annoying things that they must deal with. It's all okay as long as everyone wants to whine the whole time. The trouble comes when everyone else has resolved their whining and moved on with life, and one person is still not getting the clue that life isn't fair. This is right around the time that you get the reputation for being a whiner . . . and nobody likes a whiner.


Moral of the story kids? You can't get healthy by eating mac and cheese and watching other people dance. And you can't find long-lasting contentment through whining. The result will probably be that other people avoid you and you sometimes wish you could just avoid yourself.